January 18, 2009

Dear Boden Catalogue,

Posted in Fashion Criticism, Marketing Commentary at 12:52 pm by the Green-Eyed Siren

Why do you taunt me this way? I thought you were above that kind of behavior. It’s not right, you know. Your carefree photo spreads of slender Euro women lolling about in sun-drenched locales and sporting breezy, colorful clothes are all but pornography to those of us hunkered down in climates where we have cause to say, “Excellent, it’s going up to 19 degrees today!” (that’s F, not C, just to make sure you metric people understand my meaning). Not to mention the fact that I am not interested to know whether your lovely model Simone prefers to carry an “it” bag or wear a statement necklace (for the record, she opted for the necklace). Or that the best compliment she ever received was “you should be a model.” Pfft.

Boden Catalogue, perhaps you have not heard that the entire financial system of, you know, the World, has collapsed spectacularly around us. I will not be needing your Ibiza Kaftan ($78), for I can foresee no jetting to Ibiza for a stroll along its perfect beaches anytime soon. I do not anticipate “striking a luxurious boho note” this spring in your Artisan Coat ($158), for by spring we will have long passed the moment of scrounging in the garden for tulip bulbs to eat. I am confident that my current wardrobe, worn and ragged as it is, will be amply sufficient fashion statement when beating off the squirrels as I forage food for my family.

In your defense, I appreciate your assertion that one can never have too many stripes. Such a perspective is reasonable no matter how bad the weather or how strained the economy.

But, please, refrain from taunting me with your peep-toe slingback wedges ($158). Cute as they are, they have no practical use to a mother under any circumstances, much less a mother who will be required to build makeshift shelters from twigs and duct tape once the banks have repossessed everyone’s houses.

Thank you for your attention to this matter,

The Green-Eyed Siren

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2 Comments »

  1. bb said,

    Only hookers wear red shoes.

  2. The Lass said,

    If you ever do break down and order, beware Boden’s sizing – they use British measurements and while they tell you to order 1-2 sizes up, it’s more like 2-3, if you have any breast or hip flesh at all.
    I have taken to throwing away the Boden catalogs without looking because, like Anthropologie, I have a tendency to want EVERY SINGLE THING I SEE. Sigh.


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