May 25, 2009

Internet, I apologize.

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:27 pm by the Green-Eyed Siren

I realize that it’s been two months since my last post, and I apologize for my absence from this page. Sadly, I have been 1) busybusybusy and 2) suffering from a most peculiar form of writer’s block, in which I write a single painfully long post which consists entirely of uneditable crap.

I’ve tried to make it work, but it won’t cooperate, and I won’t post crap. Therefore, I am moving on, and you will have to come up with your own flights of fancy regarding my two month internet disappearance. All I will tell you about my recent activities is this:

  • Meetings meetings meetings
  • Passover/Easter-induced religious overdosing
  • School benefit volunteering
  • New(ish) car purchasing.

Please feel free to fill in the blanks around these themes or otherwise imagine many exciting scenarios for how I spent my time.

Because I am fickle I will, however, go back on my previously announced intention to abandon my tortured words and save one tiny part of my otherwise trashed post, which describes what I shall affectionately call

A New entry for my personal Top Ten Worst Parenting Days Ever

We were utterly exhausted by the end of our religious immersion, so it was little wonder that the kids came down with a Plague of Their Own. Tuesday morning found Junior in a vomitous condition, but Unfocused Girl seemed OK, so off to school she went. Naturally, I received a call early that afternoon that she had joined in the family hurling and would be unable to stay for Girl Scouts that day, so Junior and I piled into the car with a pair of giant bowls to catch anything unpardonable and made the long drive through hideous traffic to her school. It took us an hour to get there; I later learned that while Junior and I were trying to reach her she threw up again, this time into the office garbage can.

Once we arrived, the pick-up line was already sufficiently bad that we had to park in the lot and walk a ways to the office. This was enough to set Junior off again, and so there we were, with the poor little guy losing his Scooby Snacks (literally, and at great length) on the sidewalk in front of the school. After he had settled down (thank you, fellow parent with the Handi-Wipes) we picked up Unfocused Girl and hit the road, at which point she made good use of one of the bowls I had packed. It was not a good day.

So now, having metaphorically jettisoned the Scooby Snacks of my abysmally boring writing, I hope for more inspired days ahead.



  1. chel said,

    I know that young person stomach flu well. Consider this a virtual toast “to a healthy summer”.

  2. bb said,

    so happy to hear your voice again.
    a tip: instead of sloshy bowls, how about plastic garbage bags, so you can tie them up afterwards?
    oh — ick, i’ve just grossed myself out.

  3. DC said,

    From my personal experience with Mr. Unfocused I recommend a 5-gallon plastic bucket with top, for example, an empty joint compound bucket. You can’t miss and you can’t fill it.

  4. Jeanne said,

    You will always remember that car ride. There’s a great vomiting scene in Katherine Center’s Everyone Is Beautiful. The unrealistic part is that the kids only vomit once and then go to sleep and are fine in the morning. To this I say HA!

  5. Poppy Buxom said,

    Hey, the only time my daughter vomited uncontrollably it wasn’t a stomach bug. It was pneumonia. Apparently the lungs are so close to the stomach that vomiting is actually a symptom.

    Good thing the physician figured it out, because if my daughter hadn’t thrown up, I’d still be off somewhere dreaming my dreamy little dreams and wondering what was up with all the coughing.

    And that is how I won first place in the Worst Parenting Sweepstakes. Which is not what you were talking about, but I still beat you.

  6. The Lass said,

    I’d comment, but if I think anymore about this, I may heave myself.
    Welcome back, btw. :P

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